When we last left the Dinglebats, poor little Medusa had lost her biological mother and was tortured relentlessly by the evil (literally) step-mother, Kristen.
Really, it’s just another day in the life of a Villain Legacy.
And Kristen couldn’t be more pleased to be a part of it.
Medusa: And what am I? A piece of trash?
Kristen: That couldn’t be closer to the truth!
You’ll have your time to shine, Medusa. Trust me.
Meanwhile, somewhere in the shadows of a dingy bar, Iago lurks.
Iago: I can do this… I can do this… OMG… I CAN’T do this!
Iago: Listen, Bee… I was wondering if you wanted to sleep with me, erm… next to me… forever. Oh shit… I just threw up a little.
Ju Ju Bee: What are you trying to say?
Iago: I’m sorry. I didn’t know what else to do.
Bee: Listen, I’m grateful you turned me into a human and all, but that doesn’t give you the right to kiss me right after you admit to throwing up.
Iago: But… that’s not what I was trying to do at all.
Ju Ju Bee: Then what were you trying to say?
Iago: Ummmmmm… I’ll have to get back with you on that.
Iago: I wanted to ask her to marry me, but I’m too much of a coward. I wish I had as much swagger as that glitched up old man.
GUOM: You can’t even touch this, son.
Game? What is going on here?
Attack of the clones. My game is going to crash, isn’t it? This is a sign of the end times.
GUOM#1: I will consume your soul.
GUOM#2: Why stop with my soul? I WILL CONSUME THIS ENTIRE GAME!!!
The staring contest of death did, in fact, result in a crash.
Then my game crashed again.
And it probably crashed one more time after that when I wasn’t even playing it.
Finally, I cleaned up my CC and my cache files. Now it seems to, sort of, be working, a little bit better… ish.
And look whose birthday it is!
Medusa: Finally! This awful stage of my life is about to be through!
Morgana: Why is there an alien in my kitchen!
Well, she’s sort of your Great Great Granddaughter.
Well, hello there, gorgeous!
She aged into the rebel trait, making her a brave, rebelious night owl, who is a heavy sleeper (who will never have to sleep again).
Medusa: I don’t sleep often, but when I do sleep, I don’t wake up.
Oh, and I’m pretty sure I didn’t share Ju Ju Bee’s traits yet. She’s a friendly, clumsy, bookworm who is a light sleeper and fears all technology.
Morgana: So you’re an alien. What’s that like?
Medusa: Leave me alone, ghost.
Morgana: Just wondering.
Medusa: Seriously? Are you, like, stalking me?
Morgana: You intrigue me. This one, she has potential…
She is pretty cool.
She can fix broken things with her mind.
She doesn’t need to sleep.
Oh yeah, did I mention she’s a bad ass?
But can she stand up to Kristen?
Kristen: What the hell is this?
Your alien stepchild.
Kristen: It isn’t right.
Medusa: What seems to be the problem?
Kristen: You’re the problem.
Kristen: You have no right to exist!
That’s a little harsh, don’t you think? She did it autonomously too.
Kristen: That’s right, walk away, you pansy. See, she’s not right to be heir. She can’t even fight back.
I think she can fight back, Kristen. She’s sucking your motives away as we speak.
What are you doing?
Medusa: Umm.. nothing!
Where did you even get that device?
Medusa: Just taking standard measurements….
Iago: You make me think of matches.
Ju Ju Bee: Is that supposed to be a pick-up line?
Iago: Did it work?
For all of you Circe fans. She still exists. Don’t worry.
Who are you draining now?
I should have guessed. Medusa is on a mission.
Medusa: And I won’t rest until Kristen is miserable.
Kristen: You think you’re being so sneaky, stealing away my motives! Well, I’m on to you!
Medusa: You don’t scare me, ugly.
Kristen: I’d be more careful if I were you. I have the power to ground you!
Medusa: What? You can’t do that!
Kristen: Yes I can! You’re grounded for a week!
Medusa: You’re not even my real mom! You can’t ground me!
Kristen: Two weeks!
Kristen: You might be an abomination to this world, but as long as you’re living in MY house, I can do whatever I want!
Medusa: You suck!
Kristen: Three weeks!
Ah, what a beautiful day in Aurora Skies! The sun is shining, and the world is simply a gorgeous place.
I’d say it’s the perfect day for a wedding proposal.
What the heck is Ju Ju Bee doing in doll form?
Ju Ju Bee: Iago thinks it’s kinky.
Oh dear. That is wrong on so many levels.
It looks like she wasn’t joking. For Pete’s sake guys, get a room!
Iago: I love you, Ju Ju Bee. I’ve been trying to tell you something for weeks now, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it until you presented yourself in your true, breathtaking form.
Iago: Your beauty is so compelling, I can’t resist a moment longer! Ju Ju Bee Dinglebat, how would you like to officially become Ju Ju Bee Dinglebat?
Elphaba: Wait, isn’t she already Ju Ju Bee Dinglebat?
Ju Ju Bee: Omigod!
Elphaba: Is he really proposing to a doll? Hahaha!
Ju Ju Bee: It’s beautiful, Iago!
Iago: I’ve had it cut from a rainbow gem. The very stone that brought you to life!
Elphaba: Oh please. Now I’ve seen everything!
Ju Ju Bee: Nothing would make me happier than to be your bride! Yippee!
Elphaba: Can you believe this guy? He just asked his imaginary friend to marry him! This is rich!
Iago: I am SO pleased!
Iago: We shall wed as soon as possible!
Elphaba: He’d better not be heir.
I know. Right?
Kristen: My son is getting married! No, he’s not going to be heir. I can be happy for him anyway. He is my son, afterall.
Kristen: Yes, those are birds. I’ve gotten into the habit of working outside. Why the hell not? It’s gorgeous here in Aurora Springs. I’ve almost forgiven my batshit crazy husband for moving me here.
Kristen: There’s nothing wrong with the great outdoors! In fact, I’m going to work under the stars tonight. You’ll see just how effective it is when I clock in tomorrow morning!
Medusa: Is that so? I’ll show her effective…
Later that night.
Kristen: I guess Kandice was right. It is a little cold out here…
Kristen: Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.
Kristen: What are you doing? Didn’t I say that you were grounded? Get out of my sight!
Medusa: As you wish.
Kristen: Now where was I? If we offer the mayor this much money for her new campaign…
Kristen: Aw, screw this. I’m going to work inside. It’s freaking cold out here!
Morgana: Grandmother’s spatula! This makes me so happy I’m already dead!
This certainly does NOT look good for Kristen.
Morgana: Is it over?
Oh, I think it’s over, alright.
Elphaba: You know she dead.
Little boy: Something smells like burning!
Death: Sorry, that might be me. I forgot my deodorant today.
Elphaba: Hi there, sexy. Long time no see!
Death: Erm… the answer is still no, Elphaba.
Elphaba: Be careful, Death! That’s a steep hole!
Death: Oh this is a nasty mess. I haven’t seen a body that squished since the Wicked West of the East passed away.
Morgana: The alien child summoned the end of the world!
What makes you say that?
Death: It looks like it may be a busy night for me. I knew I shouldn’t have punched out for lunch!
Elphaba: Not so close to my invention!
Kristen: Doesn’t anybody care that I’m dead?
Death: You’re not exactly the highest priority right now.
Kristen: That tomb stone really sucks! Couldn’t you have scavenged up anything classier than that?
Death: It’s not like you were anywhere close to completing your ridiculously hard to achieve LTW. This is what you get.
Iago: Omigod! Fire!
Medusa: Don’t worry! I’ll save the day!
Medusa: Because I’m a badass, and that’s what we do!
Elphaba: Please! Don’t let my invention burn! You’re my only hope!
Kristen: Please, Death. Spare me. I’m not ready to die! My son just got engaged. My daughter was only days from becoming heir…
Death: Don’t look at me. I wasn’t the one who killed you.
Kristen: I will do ANYTHING!
Kristen: I’ll become your personal slave!
Death: Get off your knees. You weren’t dealt this card. You chose this path of chaos and destruction.
Death: This was exactly what you sowed, Kristen Dinglebat. Even I know not to fuck with the aliens.
Kristen: Take her instead. She was the one who wronged me!
Death: Your time is spent!
Death: Hmm… Maybe I should stick around? This looks messy.Death: I guess she’s got this. Even I’m a little impressed.
Ju Ju Bee: Kristen is dead, but I can’t stop laughing at Elphaba’s underwear!
Circe: Umm… guys? What happened here?
Circe: Holy crap… Mom is dead!
Medusa: The bane of my existence is dead. How unfortunate…
At least you’re better at pretending to be sad than Morgana is.
Poor Freddy didn’t take the news very well.
Freddy: This is the space rock that crushed my wife?
Freddy: This is sooo cool!
Freddy: But so sad!
Circe: Hey you! I know you summoned that meteor that killed Mom! Where the hell do you think you’re going?
Medusa: Wherever I want. I’m not grounded any more.
Next time: Freddy throws a funeral party in honor of Kristen! Iago and Ju Ju Bee get married! Circe and Medusa declare war!
Iago: 3 Villain Points
Circe: 5 Villain Points
Medusa: 5 Villain Points