The Secrets of Mr. Sparklepants

Two posts in one day? I must either be crazy, or have no life. Although, right now I’m leaning towards a little bit of both.

Ursula: Oh, Mr. Sparklepants. Please tell me what it’s like to be a butterfly and to be able to fly free.

Um… Ursula… he’s been in a cage for the last 4 years. Heaven knows how he’s even survived this long.

Ursula: I must go explore the outdoors and discover once and for all where my true place in this world is.

Riding a bike in those boots is quite impressive, but I don’t understand what you’re up to.

Ursula: I know! I’ll call Charlie! He’ll know my purpose in life!

Charlie is absent-minded, friendly, brave, and lucky. What makes you think this combination will give you anything worth reflecting on?

Ursula: I’ll just fish here until he arrives.

Don’t expect too much from him.

Charlie: Well gosh! Hi there, Miss Ursula! How are things?

Ursula: I’ve been reading a lot lately Charlie.

Charlie: Like in school?

Ursula: Yes, like in school. It’s been making me wonder what my purpose in life is.

Charlie: Gosh, why don’t you just do what makes you happy?

Ursula: Well, you make me happy, Charlie.

Uh-oh, I can see where this is going.

Oh man, Ursula you know that Charlie has negative Villain Points, right? If you become Heir, he might not be the best choice in mate.

Ursula: I’m a rebellious teenager, let me have my fun!

Charlie: I love going to the library, but they keep charging me money because I always forget to return my books…

Look, it’s my Sim Self complaining to her husband about the dirty dishes. Typical.

Cruella: If you’re looking for my brother, he’s inside being the family’s painting slave.

Tiffani: Voldy, I’ve been looking everywhere for you! You totally stood me up!

Voldemort: Now’s not a good time, Tiffani. The hawks are watching…

Tiffani: How do you expect to ever be my boyfriend if you continue doing whatever your mother or sisters tell you to do?

Morgana: And how should we expect to get any peace and quiet around here if little whiny girls keep coming to our house bitching?

Cruella: Yeah, what she said!

Voldemort: Let’s prove our love to them!

Morgana: How do you expect to ever amount to anything if you keep spending time with silly girls like her?

Voldemort: Uh…

Morgana: Now get back to painting! I expect my portrait to be wearing black!

Voldemort: … Yes mother.

Something tells me he’s going to end up with a domineering woman.

Voldemort: All I do is paint all day! I’m so tired of it!

I agree with Morgana on this one. We need a portrait of her before she gets all wrinkly!

Ursula: So, I’m about to age up, Mom. I want a birthday party that is out of this world!

Morgana: Anything for my favorite child!

The first guest to arrive is Janae Wolf, daughter of DeAndre and Gala. The lamp almost looks like a finger that got in the way of the camera lens.

It actually looks like a nice turnout.

Ursula: Yeah, this turnout is picture perfect!

These kids are so ugly they’re cute!

Charlie: I’m not ugly. Moma says I’m perfect just as I am!

Ursula: Alright, I’m blowing out the candles! Everybody come watch!

It’s kind of funny that she invited a whole slew of people and the only two who care to watch her age up are the maid and a love interest of her brother.

… and Charlie.

Now that’s more like it!

Charlie: Woowweee! Look at her butt!

Somebody needs a makeover!

That’s better. Goodness gracious… her boobs are HUGE!

Cruella: I just love the drama of a party!

Ursula: But there wasn’t any drama at all.

Cruella: When did you get so boring?

In case you were wondering, Ursula rolled Genius! More positive points!

However, I had a little mix up. I was so involved in the game that I forgot to check my charts! I thought Genius was worth 2 Villain Points and thought Ursula had 6 Villain Points in total. This would have made it impossible for either sibling to catch up EVER, so at this point I name Ursula Heir.

It was only later that I checked the chart and realized Genius was only worth 1 point. This would have made it possible for Voldemort to tie for Heir, but only if he rolled the Evil trait. We’ll get to that later.

Her lifetime want is to become an International Super Spy. It must be the rebel in her going against the wishes of her evil parents.

In more ways than one.

I got a message that Charlie Goode aged into a Young Adult right after Ursula’s birthday party.

Cruella: I’m sooo hungry, but I burnt my pop tarts!

Cruella: I guess I’m stuck eating cake AGAIN.

Voldemort: For somebody who watches the Food Network so often, you’d think you’d know how to cook a little better.

… Later.

Morgana: What the hell is this garbage?

Ursula: So, Charlie. I was thinking…

Charlie: Me too! I think all the time!

Ursula: I’m Heir in this legacy, and I need somebody with good genes to help me carry it on.

Charlie. Haha! That’s funny. I have Goode genes!

Ursula: Yes, you do.

Charlie: You have big boobies.

Morgana: I have to pee like a pregnant monkey… what is this?

Morgana: Stop her, Sim God! He’s NOT going to give me evil grandbabies!

She seems to have her mind made up. Besides, Charlie has an evil brother AND an evil sister. There’s evil lurking somewhere in his genes.

Morgana: Well, I suppose he IS handsome.

That’s the spirit!


A lady officer is waiting for Voldemort outside the Racket house. Somehow she’s detected he’s inside after his curfew. His own mother doesn’t even care about him that much.

Lady Officer: Get in the car, lad.

Voldemort: Oh boy! I’m finally doing something a Villain would be proud of!

Sinbad: I detect my son is receiving his first ride home in a squad car. It’s time to get my haunt on!

Voldemort: Yep, I’m pretty sweet. Just got caught doing my first crime!

Morgana: You call THAT a crime? Pathetic! Get back to your paint easel, boy.

Notice something strange about this picture?

It’s just Sinbad being a good ghost.

I wish all ghosts were as keen on the haunting as Sinbad is. The best part is he goes back to his grave in the morning!

Cruella: Have you ever thought about traveling to another country?

Ursula: Not as long as you’re in this house.

Poor Cruella. She’s a little misunderstood.

Ursula: So, now that we’re officially a couple, aren’t you going to bring me flowers?

Charlie: Aw, Ursula. You’re prettier than any flower I could pick.

They say women chose men like their fathers.

Not Ursula.

Charlie: My mom got knocked up before she married my dad.

Ursula: And?

Charlie: I guess I’m sayin’ I don’t want the same thing to happen to us.

Ursula: We can fix all of that if you marry me tonight.

Ursula: Marry me, Charlie!

Charlie: Golly! It’s so sparkly!

Charlie: Well, sure! I’ll marry you right here!

Ursula: I promise to love you as long as we both shall live… hold on…

Ursula: Let me get this, it’s my boss.

Ursula: Hey Goodwin! Yeah, I’m doing great! … Actually it’s not a good time. … Yeah, I just married your son and we’re about to consummate our relationship. … K bye!

Meet Charlie Dinglebat… a brave, absent-minded, disciplined, friendly, lucky kind of guy. As a spouse he has -2 Villain Points! Yikes! Good thing I’m letting my Heirs choose their mates for love. I would have never let this happen otherwise.

Charlie: I always thought beds were just for sleeping in.

Ursula: You are about to learn a few new things, Charlie.

I hear the lullaby of generation three!

Morgana: What? This thing is still alive?

Morgana: Damn you, Mr. Sparklepants! If you could only speak you could reveal to me your secrets of immortality!

Just face it, Morgana. Sooner or later you’re going to kick the bucket.

Voldemort: Awesome! I can finally get out of this crazy house!

Morgana: You’re not going anywhere until you paint a few portraits, mister.

Voldemort: What?! I thought that was only a stupid joke!

Voldemort: Ahhh! My life is torture!

Voldemort rolled Eco Friendly for his last trait. His final score is 3. I’m a little relieved, now he can paint Ursula’s portrait too!

Ursula finds her first star and names it Harry Potter. You can guess what this Legacy’s constellation theme will be.

Ursula: Oh no! Toliet! Now!

Ursula: Does this mean what I think it does?

Yep! You’re going to have a little monster!

Or a little angel. It depends on whether it takes after Grandpa Sinbad or Grandpa Goodwin.

Charlie: You sure look glowy today, Ursula.

Ursula: I don’t feel glowy. I just spent the last hour puking up my insides!

Will their baby be villainous enough for this legacy, or will Morgana throw a fit when she lays eyes upon her first grandbaby? Find out next time!

Ursula: 5 Villain Points

Voldemort: 3 Villain Points

Cruella: Off somewhere in the negatives…

Legacy Points: 2

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